


Only Then Will I Forgive You

by AthenaKyle



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthenaKyle/pseuds/AthenaKyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She shook her head, shaking the memories away, “That’s the problem with being such a gifted liar. No one will believe you when you’re telling the truth.”</p>
<p>Ouch. He knew it was a fair assessment, but it still stung.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Then Will I Forgive You

There was a ghost of a smile on Grant Ward’s face as he stepped out of the charming bungalow, and into the tropical morning air. Before him was a seemingly endless stretch of golden sand, lush emerald vegetation and oh-so inviting lapis lazuli water.

 

How long had he wanted this? To retire to some sleepy tropical island, away from technology and anyone who had ever heard of organizations such as S.H.I.E.L.D or Hydra. The nameless island he was on was part of a larger archipelago, and while there were other islands in the area that were inhabited, he knew that for the most part no one would bother him here. The people who lived on neighboring islands didn’t even have electricity, much less access to the outside world.

 

They wouldn’t know that he was a ruthless killer on the run.

 

He took a long pull of beer, 38 and retired, with money and secret identities hidden all over the world he could stay hidden forever, yet all of that meant nothing without her by his side. Leaving her behind had been the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he was a fugitive, wanted by several world governments, and he didn’t want her caught in the crossfire. She didn’t deserve to pay for his sins.

 

He looked back towards the kitchen and swore he could see her, standing there in nothing but denim cutoff’s and a pale yellow and pink polka-doted bikini top, smiling brightly at him.

 

_“What?” she looked down at herself, trying to find out what he was staring at so intently._

_“You’re beautiful.” He breathed reverently, honesty radiating through his eyes._

_She blushed a charming shade of pink as she smiled softly at him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “You’re not so bad yourself you know.” She sauntered toward him, throwing her arms around his neck; she lifted herself onto her tiptoes, as his hands rested naturally on her hips._

_“When you said you knew the perfect place to spend our mandatory 5 day down time, I honestly had no idea what to expect.” Her skilled fingers teased the hair at the nape of his neck._

_“And,” his thumb stroked lazily up and down her spine, “How’d I do?”_

_“Perfect.” She giggled as he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as she pulled his head to hers, “Absolutely perfect.” She kissed him soundly as he expertly maneuvered them back to the bedroom. “Grant! I wanted to see the local wildlife!” she halfheartedly argued before giving in and muttering something about wondering why she had bothered getting dressed at all._

 

Grant smiled at the memory.

 

She of course had gotten her way later on (he really couldn’t deny her anything), and they had spent most of their time off hiking and exploring the tiny island. And while he would have been content spending their entire vacation lying in bed, he could help deny that seeing her face light up at the discovery of some new plant/insect/animal was by far his most cherished memory.

 

“Somehow I knew I’d find you here.”

 

He froze at the sound of her voice. His eyes flying open _when had they closed?_ As his senses registered a voice he hadn’t heard since she’d begged him not to dump her and her best friend into the bottom of the Atlantic.

 

He turned to face her slowly; mildly surprised at the gun she had leveled at him. There was no shake in her grip, and he wondered when she had become so comfortable with wielding a weapon. His eyes raked over her taking in the subtle changes.

 

She had lost some weight, but he supposed the threat of belonging to an agency that wasn’t exactly welcomed by anyone anymore had something to do with that. When Hydra rose and S.H.I.E.L.D fell they lost nearly all of their resources, in fact if it hadn’t been for Tony Stark, Bruce Banner and their combined fortunes (Stark from his father, and Banner for his patents) the new S.H.I.E.L.D under Coulson’s command would never have gotten off the ground.

 

She looked older, harder, tired.

 

She had lost that doe eyed innocence, that faith that while people may do evil things, they were inherently good. The light in her eyes had dimmed, but it wasn’t out completely, and it warmed his heart to know that while he had been the reason they didn’t shine as brightly; (he remembered seeing it die the moment that pod began to move out of the cargo hold) he was glad it hadn’t been extinguished completely.

 

Over the years he had heard through the channels that while Fitz had survived the fall, he hadn’t escaped unscathed. The once brilliant scientist had suffered some massive brain damage and was currently relearning how to tie his shoes.

 

He opened his mouth to say something about the Scot he’d once called a friend, but when she raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrow and tightened her grip on the gun, he knew it was wiser to keep his mouth shut.

 

Yet even with all of that hanging around her, she still radiated this warmth that was distinctively Jemma, and he was glad that after everything she had been through, she hadn’t lost that.

 

“You’re beautiful.”

 

He watched the recognition flash in her eyes.

 

“Why?” her voice waivered, but her hand remained steady, the 9-millimeter leveled directly at him.  “Why wasn’t I enough? Or was it all a lie?”

 

Her words were like a cold grip on his heart, “I may have lied about a lot of things,” he took a tentative step towards her, stopping when she removed the safety, hurt radiating through him when he realized she thought he would hurt her, “but I never lied about my feelings for you.”

 

“I want to believe you.”

 

And she did, he could see it in her eyes, she wanted to trust him, but he had broken her trust and her heart, and she wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, if she would ever. “But-”

 

She shook her head, shaking the memories away, “That’s the problem with being such a gifted liar. No one will believe you when you’re telling the truth.”

 

Ouch. He knew it was a fair assessment, but it still stung.

 

He sighed in resignation, raising his hands in defeat, “So, are you here to kill me? Or take me in?”

 

This time her hand did shake, but she righted it quickly, “I thought that by the time I got here I’d know what I was going to do if I found you.” Her eyes pierced his, “You’ve escaped S.H.I.E.L.D custody once, killing you would ensure that no one else I care about gets hurt.”

 

She paused, “But I think that if I kill you, I’ll lose what little of the old me remains, and I don’t want to lose her. Because when we fix all this, when we get the world running again, it’s going to need people like her.”

 

“Yes it will.” He agreed.

 

“So instead, I think I’m going to sentence you to a life here. Which we can both agree is far better than you deserve.” He nodded; slightly shocked that she was going to let him live. She checked her watch, “Tripp won’t be too long now. Coulson no doubt sent him after me the moment they realized I was gone.” She pulled the trigger, and Grant recoiled more from the fact that she actually shot him rather than the bullet to the shoulder.

 

Tucking the gun into the back of her waistband she rushed forward, catching him before he fell and lowered him gently to the ground. “Death is too quick for you.” She squeezed around the wound, causing it to bleed more, smearing it around the ground. “You’re going to stay on this island, and God willing live a long life, crushed by the guilt of knowing you betrayed the people that truly cared about you.” There were tears in her eyes now, “That you betrayed me, and in doing so undermined every moment between us, every kiss, every glance. Every. Word.”

 

The ‘I love you’ implied lingered unspoken between them.

 

She stood up as the sound of an incoming plane could be heard, “If you’re truly sorry for everything you’ve done, you’ll live. Live out the remainder of your life, living with the wrongs you’ve done. Only when you’ve died on this island, old and alone will I believe that you’re sorry.”

 

She pulled a small pouch from god knows where on that Romanoff-esque cat-suit she was wearing. “Specially designed med pack. Should cure any ailment you could contract, ultra high concentration, should last at least 25 years.”

 

She stood as the plane came into view and fired two more rounds into the ground right beside his head, “Goodbye Ward.”

 

And then she turned and ran; presumably towards the jet that Tripp was piloting. He wanted nothing more than to watch her leave, see her one last time, but he knew that in doing so would undo the charade that was his death, and that if Tripp suspected he was alive, the Howling Commando legacy would come over and finish the job.

 

So instead he laid still, and waited until he could hear the plane begin to leave, followed by 2 explosions, Tripp undoubtedly blew up the plane he had used to get here, and whatever means Jemma had used to find the island. There was no way off for him now.

 

Sitting up, he rolled his shoulder, the bullet had gone clean through, hadn’t hit anything major, she had gotten really good with a weapon over the years, he wasn’t even sure Skye could’ve pulled off a shot like that, and rumor had it she was a Specialist now, with a trainee of her own.

 

Running a hand through his hair he stood and went to clean his wound. If Jemma wanted him to live out his life isolated and alone with nothing but his thoughts and guilt then he would. If it meant that he could find some sort of forgiveness, some sort of absolution from her in doing so, then by God, he would live as long as he could on this island.

 

 

35 years later, he was beyond glad that he did, when a small aircraft arrived, and an older, but still impossibly lovely Jemma Simmons stepped out, gracing him with the most beautiful smile and an outstretched hand, “Come on Ward, it’s time to go home.”

 


End file.
